A good friend once said, “You know what’s great about us? (love her!) We are content but not complacent!”
This was a long time ago. We were young – so young in fact that we still had beautiful skin. Even then I loved the idea. To be content, to be comfortable with my circumstances whatever they were, but to not be so comfortable with the status quo as to stop moving.
Contentment, it seems to me, is a choice. Just as I choose to love my husband (love is a verb, in my humble opinion, not a feeling), so I can choose to be content. But, uff da, our culture makes it hard.
One of my favorite vices is to watch HGTV. I have my favorites (Chip and Joanna Gaines can do no wrong), but pretty much I’m a junkie and will watch whatever happens to be on. Before you judge, let me first state that in our house we have no cable, and so my addiction can only be satisfied in hotels or other people’s homes. Okay, and occasionally an old season on Netflix or Hulu. I love watching HGTV. I love that these experts can take a lump of coal and create a diamond. In one short hour! The distress at the beginning of the show is resolved in tears of joy at the end. I might mock it a bit, but the truth is I love seeing people discover what is “home” for them.
For 20+ years, I have lived in the same little rambler. 1800 square feet of inefficient space. It was awesome for a single person, great for a young married couple, swell to bring a first baby home to. After that, it started getting tight, and for years it has housed 5 adult-ish sized people, two dogs and a small menagerie of additional pets. With the occasional guest. It started with three bedrooms and one bath. We added a fourth bedroom and 3/4 bath when we finished the basement.
I have a strong sense of place laced with sentimentality. I loved that little house. I brought my husband and all my children home to it. We have pets buried in the woods. We built a chicken coop in the backyard, for pity’s sake. It is our little acre of Eden. I have been incredibly content in this house, but clearly not complacent. We have adapted it to suit our needs for as long as was possible, but we’ve outgrown it plain and simple. It is no longer bringing the peace and sense of home that I crave for my family. (Am I in danger of being discontent? Or is this just another example of lack of complacency? Heart question!)
So we house shopped. I felt just like one of those couples on House Hunters, except I never commented on paint color. Come on, people, that is an inexpensive fix! We found nothing. Everything we looked at needed so much work. Or wasn’t as nice a location, or or or…
To any good HGTV crackhead, the only logical choice is to add on. Which we have done. Or rather, are doing. I’m sure, gentle reader, you will hear more about the process in a later rant. It is an ongoing process as we are doing most of the finish work ourselves. I love me some sweat equity! But for now, here are the specifics.
We have added a full second story. And lived through it. By living through it, I mean that we have STAYED IN THE HOUSE even as the roof was ripped off over our heads. In November. In Minnesota. We survived dry wall dust, strange men waltzing in and out of our house at all hours, shared bedrooms, a truly “open living concept” – when there are no walls, you are definitely living in the open! If I could have a nickel for every time someone commented on the insanity of that, I could have paid for the renovation!
But here is the thing. We are content, but not complacent. Living through this process has really been more of an adventure than a trial. Much of it has to do with how you view your circumstances. We can spin almost anything anyway we choose. We can see a catastrophe or an opportunity. We have a roof (now) over our heads. We GET to experience the mess, because we have the means to add on. We GET to learn new family coping skills, because we have a place to stay. Sure there is dust, and chaos, and I have absolutely no idea where my summer sandals or wok have been stashed. But really, does it matter? As Paul so wisely put it, “I have learned to be content, whatever the circumstances” (Phil. 4:11). I don’t have this down perfectly. I have my moments. But mostly, I am content.
AND THIS IS THE REASON: I am satisfied, anew every day, with the unfailing love of God. Not with the condition of my living room. Not with the relationship with my teenager. Not with whether or not my skinny jeans fit. I am satisfied with the unfailing love of God. This does not come through my own power, or will, or hard work, or attitude. It comes from God himself. It is enough.